Top 10 Magneto moments, part 2

Since my previous Magneto post was such a roaring success among my family, friends and some people who were googling Magneto pictures and stumbled onto it, I've kept my promise and returned with a second part. Here are 10 more of my favourite Magneto moments, this time focusing on the 12 issues of his stand-alone series that have been published so far. (Click on the images to make them larger).

Honourable Mentions:

Issue #11 - Swagneto and the League of Villains

Since I'm not following the incredibly annoying Axis storyline, I can't say I was thrilled with the tie-in issues. Still, they did have some good moments and that's what honourable mentions are for. So here we have #11, which, despite being a lame tie-in issue, earned an honourable mention by giving us the word of the year and my future child's name, Swagneto. I can't just let a cultural contribution like that go thankless. #11 had another fun moment, namely Mag's weirdly drawn team of villains:

It was nice to see all the villains banding together, except something went really, really wrong with Mag's body proportions. (It also took me a while to realise he was in a magnetic field, I thought that thing was the moon. Also half of them can't even fly, is it implied that the field is making them fly?) Anyway, #11 also had the very cool "slideshow" of Mag's greatest hits. I wanted to include it in the list and I probably would have, if it's point wasn't the usual "Magneto is neither a hero nor a villain" deal, which we have already heard about a million times at this point. Magneto knows it, the X-Men know it, everyone in the MU knows it. The fact that something so obvious is still being treated like a super profound conclusion makes Mags look like a moron and that's unacceptable, so the slideshow doesn't make the cut.

Issue #12 - Whatever, Charles, we already know

Our second honourable mention goes to #12, which, despite being a tie-in issue too, had very little to do with AXIS. Instead we focus on an equally boring story, namely Erik's and Charles's relationship over the years. Fascinating stuff. We get some flashbacks of them before they were Magneto and Professor X, and during those flashbacks, some vital pieces of information are revealed. Most importantly, we learn that Erik has always looked hot while Charles has always looked like shit. I even created this helpful side by side comparison, which I think really drives the point home:

Wow. Apparently, Erik gave up on a promising career as a Versace model to fight for mutant freedom, while Charles has always been a bald sixty-year old. I mean, I hate the professor too, Marvel, but this is just cruel. The main event was of course the Prof's admission that Mags was right this whole time: 

Meh. I get that this is supposed to be a big, dramatic moment but I'm just not buying it. Moments like this have to be earned, and we've spent the last 11 issues watching Mags murder anti-mutants (which was crazy fun, but more on that later). And now he suddenly wants peaceful co-existence with humans just because he saw Charles's hologram or whatever that thing is, I'm too bored to even go read back. Now, Charles's whole "you were right" thing was a pretty cool moment, and it deserves an honourable mention. However, like Mag's sudden epiphany about peace, it felt forced. I don't hate it but I don't love it either, so it doesn't make the list. Anyway, that's it with honourable mentions, let's move on to the top 10.

10. That fucking cover

Dear God. I knew I was going to love Magneto's series when I saw the first cover. Actually almost all the covers so far have been wonderful, I kinda want to write a post just about them. But anyway, back to this cover, what a powerful way to kick off the new series. A+ character representation right there, in one single image. There are so many layers of awesomeness to this, I don't even know where to begin. We have the more obvious barbed wire/concentration camp symbolism. It reminded me of that "never forget what you are, wear it like armour" Tyrion quote, back when Game of Thrones was still watchable. That reading is of course ridiculously literal but let's ignore that, because whatever the case, the idea of the helmet being made out of barbed wire remains incredible. It not only captures the whole history of the character, from concentration camp survivor to mutant leader, but also how his unyielding nature and rigid ideology can often function like prisons. It almost felt impossible that the contents of the first issue could top that amazing cover, but then came number 9..

9. Issue #1 - Magneto's First Murder

This title feels like I'm making a scrapbook for my psychopathic child, but anyway. Lord knows that this murder isn't Magneto's first, but it's the first one we see in the new series, and man does it draw you right in. The poor, terrified barista in the above panels is describing a particularly gruesome murder he witnessed in the cafe he works. Apparently, the killer heard the victim talking shit about mutants, sat down, talked with him, and then proceeded to pull the fillings out of his teeth and replace them with some street signs. Oh Magneto, Master of Magnetism and Overreaction, it's so good to have you back. Still as cray-cray as always, we learn that Magneto has now reached the serial-killer levels of crazy he was always meant to reach, going around murdering anti-mutants in broad daylight, while disguised as a filthy commoner. But don't worry, we all know he can't resist his costume for too long, which brings us too:

8. Issue #1 - The Dark Knight Deranged Murderer

Be still my beating heart, it's Magneto in black. Magneto of the night. Magneto Master of hiding those few extra pounds. Magneto my-helmet-constructs-itself. I have no idea why they changed the suit, I guess it's rebranding. Will I miss the purple-red suit? What self-respecting Magneto fan wouldn't. Do I think a black costume is more befitting Magneto's newly acquired serial-killer status? Indeed I do. Am I hoping for the old suit to make a dramatic comeback during an arc that has Mags rediscovering his love for awkward colour combos? If only we lived in a perfect world with me as a Marvel writer. Anyway, loving Mag's new look, except for the shaved head thing, which just no. Magneto's glorious silver hair had a signature regal quality. I get the point of the shaved head plot-wise, but it looks horrible and the fact that they're drawing his head in a weird, pudgy way isn't helping the situation. #BringBackMag'sLusciousMane2014

7. Issue #4 - The Purifiers are as stupid as their name

When I hear purifier, my mind goes to Chandler making the air purifier noise, so I just can't perceive these people as a serious threat but anyway. For those not familiar with the Purifiers, they are pretty much the Westboro Baptist Church of the Marvel Universe, only instead of women, lgbt people and soldiers, they hate mutants. Among their other endeavours, the Purifiers have now constructed a lovely farm, dedicated to dissecting and murdering mutants, after luring them in with the promise of safety. You know you're shitty when the Red Skull uses more honest tactics than you. Well, the Purifiers have done fucked up, because Mags found them and boy, is he not happy. The highlight of this meeting is the last panel, with Mags delivering one of his classic burns before he starts brutally killing them. Indeed, you'd think they wouldn't cover themselves with metallic armour, Mags, but then we would miss out on you mocking them, and no one wants that. Another notable moment is when he beheads the last Purifier dude using a giant fan:

Har har. After the massacre, we are treated to the sexy exit below, and a great monologue, which we'll see later on the list.

6. Issue #2 / #8 - Let's get meta

Well fuck you too, Mags. (Jk, I love you.) As you can see we have a double entry here but it's the same topic so let's pretend they count as one. As a proud owner of a "Magneto was right" t-shirt myself I really liked those two little meta moments. What I didn't like was Magneto's anti t-shirt comment, like he isn't the biggest attention whore on the planet. Bitch please, you literally call yourself Magnus. Also remember when you were "Xorn" and you taught in a classroom full of "Magneto was right" posters? Us too. So stfu with all the "humble and mysterious" nonsense. Also 90% of your fuckability has vanished thanks to your new Professor X-esque look so I'd be more appreciative of my last remaining fans if I were you. Harsh words, I know, but it's coming from a place of love. Please grow your hair back and let's move past this.

5. Issue #8 - Urban Anthropology with Erik Lehnsherr

Mags, boo, sometimes you make stupid decisions, like shaving your head, and I forget how intelligent you are. But then you go and have an awesome internal monologue and make me love you all over again. Here, Magneto is musing about the nature of towns, a thought that is beautifully combined with his memories and self-reflection. The reason I loved this moment is that it perfectly illustrates how good the stand-alone series can be when it focuses on what it should, which is giving us a deeper understanding of Magneto's character. This whole story was pretty great. Mags goes to meet the MGH manufacturers. (MGH is an illegal hormone that humans use to get mutant powers.) We see some dead/dying mutants in the factory and while the leader criminal guy claims they were already dead and that they didn't hurt them but only used them to create the formula, judging by Mag's record we're pretty sure shit is about to go down. But before we have the chance to see him murder them, S.H.I.E.L.D. shows up and tries to arrest Mags. Lol, good luck with that. He of course escapes, and it turns out all he wanted out of this meeting was to abduct the MGH cook, which leads us to..

4. Issue #8 - Junkie Magneto is back!

If you've read part 1 of this post, you already know where I stand about junkie Magneto. Short answer, I stand on a mountain of eternal love. I don't know if it's the juxtaposition of the usually composed and eloquent Magneto with him being bat-crap crazy or the fact that junkie Mags is so much more fun than normal Mags, but whatever it is, I just can't get enough of these storylines. Of course, this is no Planet X, and Mags is merely seeking to restore his powers to their previous glory instead of becoming super powerful and super crazy and destroying New York. (Also in these series he has the super crazy front covered all on his own, so there's no need for drugs.) Still, I welcome the return of junkie Magneto and I hope some time is devoted to this aspect of him in future issues. (Also please note his head in the above panels and tell me I'm wrong about the pudgy bald head thing, it's seriously distracting at this point. Jesus fucking Christ artists, either give him his hair back or fix this crap, this is just mean.)

3. Issue #6 - The many deaths of the Marauders

Well, that was satisfying. In my beloved sixth issue (which in my opinion is tied with #4 for most fun issue), we watch Mags hunt down the Marauders, or more accurately, their clones. After an epic battle which he seemed to be losing, Mags finally (and brutally) kills them using something called ferrofluid, which Wikipedia tells me is a liquid that can be controlled by magnetic fields. That sounds like a pretty useful thing to have around Mags, you should use it more. Anyway, the thing about the Marauders is, they suck. They are the mutant assassin team of Mister Sinister, supervillain extraordinaire and most-ridiculous-name-award winner. Dudes are mutants that kill other mutants for a living, if that doesn't scream "Magneto is going to fuck us up" I don't know what does. The other thing about the Marauders is, they can't really be killed, cause Sinister did some of his voodoo genetic magic so new clones of them keep generating. As Mags says, this is the third time he's killed them. Well, it's going to be the last, because at the end of the issue we get this awesome visual:

That's right, Mags now has a mini mutant army at his disposal, making for very interesting possibilities. I was so psyched when I finished reading that issue but unfortunately the storyline-that-shall-not-be-named took over, so we didn't have any developments in the Marauder front. I'm hoping that we see more of them in the future, after the Axis-shaped tumour is removed from the series.

2.a) Issue #4 - The wheels on the bus go round and round..

..all through the murder town. Ok, so there's a tie here for the second spot, with both entries coming from issue #4 (the Purifier one). So let's start with the murder bus one, which takes place before the Purifier battle we talked about earlier. We open on a desert road, in a school bus full of adorable mutant children. (Look at the one with the hat, reading. Aww). They seem pretty happy but we immediately know something is wrong, because this is Marvel and mutants must never be happy. Also the human driver is saying some not so subtle things about "duty" and "god's work" and how the mutant kids "have no idea what's waiting for them". (We don't know what's waiting for them yet, but we can guess it's not ice-cream.) But suddenly, sabotage! 

I love how he asks if the people he's driving to a murder farm are all right. Well, they are gonna be all right in a little bit, but I can't say the same for you and your fellow Jesus freaks:

LOL. Well, that was some good, old fashioned Magneto murder. After the killing is done, you'd think he'd be interested in helping the mutant children but instead he tells them to either stand up for themselves or get out of his way. Way harsh, Tai. We can certainly understand why Wanda and Pietro hate you. 

2.b) Issue #4 - The monologue 

Remember part 1, where I was talking about how Mags has the best taste in memorials? Well, to my great delight, this theme seems to be a recurring one, because  Mags has built yet another memorial! (There's also the possibility that someone from Marvel read this blog and decided to incorporate the memorial to make me happy, in which case, thanks, now please kill Wolverine and stop making Avengers movies). Anyway. While Mags is killing the Jesus freaks, we see him in their database, where he stores the names of the mutants they killed in a flash drive. (The fact that he carries around a flash drive just for this purpose is weirdly touching). In the last pages of the issue, he uploads the names to a huge and super futuristic digital memorial that he created in honour of all the killed mutants. The whole thing is an awe-inspiring and iconic moment, especially combined with that beautiful monologue. Seriously, what can I say about that monologue. It's equal parts powerful, sad and terrifying. I can even forgive the bald head thing, because in these panels, it works. This moment came really close to being my top pick but ultimately lost out to.. *drumroll*

1. Issue #2 - WWII Flashback

I didn't want to end this list on such a dark note, but issue #2's flashback and subsequent parallel deserve the top spot, hands down. Mags arrives in a tent town while trying to figure out the Sentinel attack of the first issue. In this tent town, homeless people have created, or, to use Mags's words, "are hoping to fake", a community. As it turns out, one by one, the people of the town are abducted and turned into Omega Sentinels. While there, Mags observes them and thinks that their hopelessness and hunger are familiar. We cut to a flashback of his childhood in the Warsaw ghetto; he and his friends are trying to smuggle food inside, but one of the boys, Avner, is caught by guards and executed by officer Hitzig, while young Mags hides on the other side of the wall. The flashback ends as members of the Press Gang arrive and Mags slaughters them in one of his trademark ways:

He then questions the last remaining member, using the same tactic of bargaining that the Nazi officer used in the flashback. Finally, even though the gang member tells him everything he needs to know, he still kills him, while delivering another incredible internal monologue:

Needless to say, issue #2 is very dark. An oversimplifying explanation would be the "Magneto turning into a Nazi" one, which we've seen many, many times, and frankly, I'm sick of hearing about it. This explanation just isn't sufficient to describe what's happening here, cause Magneto's justified anger and ruthlessness have nothing in common with the monstrosity that is the Nazi ideology. On top of that, Mags's thoughts here are largely self-reflective; he is aware of what he's doing and why, and he's also aware of how his suffering shaped his character. Thankfully, the whole parallel between his and Hitzig's methods isn't shoehorned by the writers in an attempt to vilify Mags (looking at you, Planet X crematoriums), but occurs naturally, through Mags's thought process. The ending also doesn't have any annoying, moral-compassy undertones: it doesn't condemn Magneto's actions but it doesn't try to justify them either. Instead, it successfully depicts the complexity and inherently tragic nature of Magneto's character, while leaving the judgement to the reader, and for me, that's the mark of quality storytelling. For all those reasons, this moving storyline makes the top of the list.

So that's it with part 2. I had a great time writing this, I think I'm going to upgrade this shit to a trilogy and rank Magneto covers next! Till then, I leave you with with this cool picture below, in case you came here looking for a new wallpaper: